Jackson's Final Farewell to his Nana

Moving on (whatever that will end up looking and feeling like) has been rough, on everyone. Since Jackson and Chris couldn't attend my Grandma’s funeral (H1N1/bronchitis) we're trying to figure out how to communicate to him that she's gone. While I was in Iowa, Chris told Jackson I was at Tanta's house (Aunt Jen) celebrating Nana's life so she could go to Heaven. He wanted to be at the 'party' to but instead settled for the agreement he could send her a gift (balloon) when I got home.
So yesterday (Saturday), Jackson and I had a special morning remembering his Nana, looking at photos and drawing a picture he would later attach to a balloon he picked to send to her. This 'balloon idea' was the best we could come up with to help him cope with the "Where's Nana" questions he has been asking.
The balloon Jackson picked out has an eerie similarity to the little balloon I gave my Grandpa in 1993 after his back surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. That little balloon stayed inflated for years, no lie, and Grandma and Grandpa proudly displayed it. I got it back from Grandma when my Grandpa passed away in 2001 (yes, 8 years later). It was odd he picked such a similar balloon.

The balloon Jackson picked to be sent to Nana.

From Nana Send off

The balloon I gave my Grandpa in 1993.

From Nana Send off

The walk through the park to the open field was beautiful. We were walking under the big oaks, with piles of leaves under our feet and leaves falling all around us. Then Jackson grabbed my hand as I held the balloon in my other hand and we walked silently to the open field.

He released the balloon and as it got further away he said, "I want it back!" I was thinking, "I want her back."

Letting the balloon go

From Nana Send off

"I want it back!"

From Nana Send off